Monday, November 25, 2013

Jesus Loves Me... Do I Know This? - Thoughts about Sonship

Last night I was rocking my son to sleep, and as he does every night, he met the end of each song with "Daddy pick another song". Last night I was feeling especially spiritual and started in with "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know". It struck me... I learned this song as a child and while the truth is so profound, it so easily escapes my heart. I mean, I KNOW Jesus loves me, but I live more like an orphan than a Beloved Son...

In my head, I can recount how "The Bible Tells Me So": God has orchestrated a history full of examples of His love for His people. In the New Testament alone, we have a number of powerful images. Jesus tells parables of the Father's effort to find us using images such as a lost sheep, a lost coin, a prodigal son. He describes the joy and completeness experienced when what was lost had been found. In another passage He uses the image of a mother hen longing to protect her chicks. We see Jesus' ultimate sacrifice of taking our sins on Himself and dying in our place. Christians have heard and said that so many times, it almost lacks meaning. We are calloused to phrases like that. If my father took the blame for something I did and was brutally and publicly murdered for me, I would be undone, and I know it would impact the way I lived.

When I see my son, I see a boy that is full of life and joy. Especially joy... he exudes joy. Now certainly he is a typical 2 year old, and we have to train up his little heart, but if we are talking about how I feel about him, I tearfully admit that I am sleighed by this little boy. He's got me. I love watching him explore, grow and learn new things. I love hearing how he puts concepts together and says new words. I love holding him in my lap, love getting hugs at the door after work, and love rocking him to sleep.

Someone I respected once told me it was sinful/inappropriate to imagine what God looked like, that any image we concocted would be a flawed incomplete and possibly heretical likeness of God. This belief fostered the distance in my relationship with God that I have struggled against for years. If someone were to ask me today to describe what I think God thinks about me, Jim Meador, right now, sitting in my recliner, would I use a description similar to that I used to describe my son? Would it be full of eagerness, excitement, longing, delight, comfort, joy? No it wouldn't. That's where my heart has it wrong...

In Matthew 19 and Luke 18 we see Jesus encouraging His disciples to let the little children come to Him, and He says that the kingdom is such as these. I think of how my own son responds to me, and my feelings towards him. They are anything but distant, yet my relationship with Jesus feels distant. I know of His love for me, and believe He loves, but then why do I struggle to believe I am a 'Beloved Son'? A doubting and fearful heart may be the answer. I thank the Lord that He has given me this little boy to show me more and more about His love for me. I pray that this truth roots deep in my heart and my unbelieving heart is stripped away. More to come on this I am sure...

1 comment:

  1. Your journey is inspiring. thanks for sharing. Love you!