The Battle In My Mind

Despite what you may have thought after reading the title of this post, this entry is not talking about purity or keeping my mind out of the gutter. There is a different battle that occurs in our minds - a battle of epic proportions. What I have been learning over the past year and a half or so, is that all our actions (and many of our thoughts) are driven by a few specific beliefs. These beliefs are aptly named 'core beliefs' and they dictate the way we 'do life'. These suckers are VERY powerful. Why are they so powerful you ask? Simply because you probably aren't aware they exist. When you don't know they exist, then you are in a battle you don't even know about.

picture taken from an article on social-brain.com

This image I found online offered a glimpse into this principle. Unarmed, and unprepared, we face a vicious enemy who enjoys it when we succumb to his lies. Let's face it, when it comes to our thought lives, we are typically passive, not active. I mean, how often do we think about our thoughts - really stop and think, "where did that come from?", or "is that really true?".

I am sure I will write more about men as warriors, but for now suffice it to say we are not bystanders - bystanders are passive. We are called to action. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 make this clear: "For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ..."  The two phrases that really stick out to me in this passage are, "have divine power to destroy arguments" and "take every thought captive to obey Christ" - these don't happen when we are oblivious to the battle... they don't happen if we are passive. 

I have been going to counseling for the past few months, and come to realize I was oblivious to this battle taking place in my mind. It has crippled me from living the life I was created to live. It  has hindered my relationships with my friends, my family, my wife, my colleagues, has limited my ability to succeed in my job, has stifled my spiritual growth, and has left me feeling lonely and useless. I have felt I needed to see a counselor for a few years, and have resisted going. I feel that the Lord has been preparing me for this very time, and is bringing about a big change in my life. The change starts in my mind. Recognizing the core beliefs that drive my actions was the first step. Exposing the lies that are hurled at me is taking an active role in this battle. When I am unaware of what is taking place, I am passive in my thought life, and am struck down, strung along, tossed about... When I engage in the battle, I still lose sometimes. But there is no victory for the daydreaming warrior.

When I am aware of the battle and take an active role, I begin to fight like the man I am called to be. We men are called to action, called to take the gospel seriously in our lives, called to lead our families. We are called to 'take every thought captive' and submit it to the Truth of the Gospel.

So, what do I do? Start by asking yourself, "What is the message that is ruling my life"? What do you believe about yourself that shapes your actions and emotions. A good place to start is reflecting on situations, comments, or circumstances that elicit a strong emotional response. Guilt, anger, fear, disappointment - these emotions may be the starting place to look deeper and determine what those core beliefs are.

One of my main core beliefs is that I am a failure, and when something doesn't go how I think it should or I expected it to, I often respond feeling guilty and ready to throw in the towel. This plays out in so many ways (follow up post?) but one example could be the never-ending list of house projects I have to get done. Lets say I have to patch the drywall in our semi-finished attic, and it takes longer than I anticipate. Even though I may have spent hours working on it, and have 5 of the 7 (hypothetical) steps done on the project, I leave feeling like a failure because I set out to finish something that is unfinished. This results in frustration and feelings of failure, and reinforces the core belief that I am, in fact, a failure. Am I a failure? No! I got 5 steps done and worked hard for hours... Thus the active role I have in disputing the thinking error, works to destroy the core belief and expose it for what it is - a lie...

As you search to see what your core beliefs may be, pray and ask the Lord to show you what you believe about yourself that rules your emotions, your actions, your beliefs. Take your thoughts captive and examine them for truth...